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Love is beautiful, isn’t it? We hear so many patriarchal explanations about love that we tend to think the passion behind it is universal. But, while that may be true to an extent, nothing excessively benefits anyone. Therefore, to treat obsessive love disorder, it is vital first to understand what it is all about.
Not every aspect of love is beautiful. Some kinds of love can even start to take a toll on you.
In this article, we will discuss the basics of dealing with obsessive love and how to break free from it so that you can lead a healthier life overall.
What Is Obsessive Love?
As the name suggests, obsessive love is a condition in which a person gets fixated on someone, assuming that he is in love. This may appear normal or common, but it is not quite as healthy as it may seem.
People with this condition tend to have a very long-term obsessive feeling of needing to be very protective or control over the individual they are focused on, treating them as though they were something to own.
This unhealthy obsession causes a tremendous amount of stress emotionally and psychologically for the affected individual and also for the object of obsession.
What Causes Obsessive Love Disorder?
Possible causes of obsessive love disorder often are a result of one’s mental health issues or related problems. Some of the common causes of this condition are as follows:
- Attachment Disorders: Individuals who have problems forming healthy emotional attachments. People with attachment disorders often lack empathy and tend to cling to others or things.
Two of the most common attachment disorders that have been associated with obsessive love are Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED) and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).
- Unexplained Jealousy: Another major factor is delusional jealousy. People suffering from this condition rarely admit to specific situations and instead create false scenarios that suit their delusions.
They may think that the other person feels the same way as them, even when there is no evidence for this.
- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): Many people mistakenly associate OCD only with cleanliness, but this is a stereotype.
OCD can be much more serious, and those suffering from it may project their obsession onto others. Individuals with OCD often seek constant reassurance, which can become problematic in relationships.
Relationship OCD is when a person becomes fixated on their partner, making them feel trapped or suffocated.
Also, Read 17 Alarming Signs That You Are Suffering From Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
- Obsessional Jealousy: Unlike delusional jealousy, obsessional jealousy is characterized by constant thoughts that a partner might be cheating. These obsessive thoughts often stem from the individual’s insecurities and can significantly strain the relationship.
Each of these factors can contribute to the development of obsessive love, and understanding the underlying causes is crucial for effectively addressing the condition.
Signs And Symptoms of Obsessive Love Disorder
Having learned the common causes, it’s time to identify the common symptoms and signs that you may detect in a patient with obsessive love disorder. Such symptoms include:
- A very intense and overwhelming emotional attachment to another person: The person has an intense, all-consuming need to be with the other person all the time and think about the other person incessantly.
- A constant stream of obsessive thoughts over them: These thoughts can drive the person absolutely crazy, causing them to lose all sorts of other focal points and may even cause trouble.
- The all-time feeling that one needs to protect someone from something: Someone may feel forced to guard such a person – often in highly excessive or manipulative ways.
- Extreme jealousy: The patient might express irrationally jealous feelings even when there is no justification, like fearing that his or her partner would be attracted to another person.
- Crude low self-esteem: Obsessive love disorders often result in the patient having feelings of inadequacy. This patient will frequently project this into their relationship, which becomes unhealthy.
Early recognition of the signs is one way to manage the condition and seek proper support or treatment.
Also, Read How to Help a Loved One Safely Escape an Abusive Relationship
How to Deal with Obsessive Love?
Obsessive love is one thing you should learn to do on your own. It should be remembered that you must ensure you are taking steps to free yourself from the addiction of obsessive love, which will be challenging if you have not taken a step forward.
Some of the effective ways to deal with obsessive love addiction are:
1. Be Aware of Your Obsession
Realizing that there is a problem is the first step towards actually resolving it for good. If you keep doing things against your values or things you would not normally do, then an issue might come from within you.
Start by admitting to yourself that you have a problem. Once you do that, much of the challenge will already be solved.
2. Realise if It’s Real
Sometimes, people declare they are in love when just suffering from obsession. Realizing whether it is real love or obsession will help you overcome obsessive love.
You become more aware and serious about the condition when you realize something is wrong. It is essential to know that if the love you “feel” is confirmed, you will not obsess over every little detail or fixate on the downsides.
True love allows for space, understanding, and balance, not constant anxiety or control.
3. Be Realistic of the Expectations
Nevertheless, it’s important to understand that people obsessed with relationships have nothing to do with their partner’s identical way of thinking.
Being realistic about the situation and your feelings is crucial. You can become pretty hard to understand because you’re obsessed with someone, and your thoughts and judgments cloud your perception.
For a healthy relationship, both parties need to be on the same page. Open communication is key—speak things through instead of bottling up your feelings. This will help bring about a better understanding and prevent unhealthy patterns from creeping in.
4. Realize the Dangers Associated
Another important aspect of treating obsessive love disorder is understanding the dangers associated with it. Many people don’t even realize that what they’re experiencing is a problem, often thinking it’s normal behavior and not a mental health issue.
Recognizing the potential risks and downsides is crucial to addressing the condition. If you’re obsessed with your partner, there’s a strong chance you’ll become overly dependent on them, basing every ounce of your happiness on them.
This can be harmful in the long run, as it creates an imbalance and can prevent personal growth and emotional independence. Recognizing this danger is the first step toward healthier relationships and self-love.
5. Think of Your Partner
Obsessive love disorder usually makes a person become self-focused and project their beliefs and desires onto someone else. This approach is not healthy for either of the people involved.
The way out of obsessive love is to consider the situation from your partner’s perspective. His or her wishes, dreams, and boundaries need to be considered; you may find that what you project on them is far from their actual feelings or needs.
Note that your obsessive thoughts and expectations are sometimes unrealistic. Focus on mutual respect, understanding, and balance. This is a vital self-awareness step toward enhancing your relationship and mental health.
6. Take Small Steps
Relationships can be pretty challenging, and they are not always smooth sailing. If you want to conquer obsessive love addiction, you should begin with baby steps. Try to approach the situation with a relaxed mindset and give yourself time to reflect and grow at your own pace.
By staying calm and gentle with yourself, you can more easily recognize areas where things may have gone off track and make adjustments as you go.
This gradual approach makes it easier to understand one’s emotions and take the right actions to heal and build healthier relationship dynamics.
7. Start by Loving Yourself
Firstly, one needs to begin with self-love. If obsessive thoughts arise from negative self-thoughts, you need to shift those thoughts and indulge in a more positive mindset.
Self-love would be the starting point to overcome obsessive love disorder. A lot of individuals suffering from the disorder have a feeling of low self-esteem, which makes them abnormally obsessed over their loved ones due to the fear of being abandoned or cheated by them.
The best way to fight this is through constructive ways, such as building self-worth and self-compassion. The road may be long, but patience and commitment may lead to healing and healthier relationship dynamics.
8. Understand You aren’t Answerable to Someone Else
It is not easy to acknowledge that you have an obsession, and talking about it to others may feel uncomfortable or awkward. However, it’s good to remind yourself that you don’t owe an explanation to anyone unless you are ready to share.
It is perfectly fine if you feel like you don’t need to justify your situation in front of everyone. You can pull back and treat yourself. A deep understanding of the situation is a must for treating obsessive love disorder, and if required, a professional’s guidance is recommended to help cope with the situation.
The approach to overcoming this disorder depends on how you handle the situation and your willingness to work through it with support.
Also, Read: 25 Amazing Self-Care Tips to Love Yourself Better!
Conclusion
Recovering from obsessive love disorder is something that takes patience, self-consciousness, and a will for healthier relationship functioning. Knowing your signs, how it came, and taking appropriate action to avoid the situation makes the person feel better.
Acknowledging the problem, shifting focus to self-love, and setting realistic expectations will free one from obsessive thoughts and behaviors. This process must be approached with small steps, being kind to oneself, and seeking professional help if necessary.
Remember that real love is grounded in mutual respect, trust, and balance and not in control or fixation. Over time and with effort, you can overcome the obsessive love disorder and develop much healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
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Nov 2019Written by Somapika D
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Feb 2025Edited by Lakshmi Gayatri
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